Meet The BYU Dick Sucking Team!!!

This is the first place that you are going to hear this news. BYU has formally announced it's first official dick sucking team! For years the team has operated in the private confines of the BYU Marriott Center but is now out in the open. This came about after news broke that 100% of the BYU football team was gay and has been sucking dicks for at least the last 70 years.

Now that dick sucking is an official sport of the BYU athletics program, the new coaching staff and school administrators are exited to get recruiting. The team currently consists of about 99% of the male student body which is roughly around 16,000 people. Females are not allowed on the team "because they aren't as good at sucking dick as us guys are." Said long time team member Austin Collie.

Now that this team is out in the open, the teammates are excited to compete.

"We are super duper excited to get out their and suck some dick" said team captain Max Hall. "Thats really all I've ever been good at so now is my chance to really show the world what I've got!"

Not many people are familiar with the DSL (Dick Sucking League) but that is all changing very quickly. There are no real rules and there is no real scoring system which confuses most traditional sports fans.

"Apparently the rules of competing are, you just go out there and suck as many dicks as possible." Said University of Utah coach Kyle Wittingham. "I don't really get it but hey, if they like sucking dicks then I guess this is the best thing for them."

Games are played every Tuesday, Friday and occasionally Saturdays. Because of the enormous size of the BYU team, only a select few will travel and compete. The rest will stay back and just suck each others dicks for practice. Unofficially, BYU has never lost a dick sucking competition.

Look forward to seeing a lot more BYU dick sucking in the near future. I don't think it's going away any time soon

here is a photo of one of the competing Brigham Young University dick sucking teams.

'Hollywood' Max Hall? More like 'Dick Sucking Faggot' Max Hall

Apparently stupid BYU fans are trying to give that shit bird Max Hall the nickname "Hollywood."

Are you fucking kidding me? What is Hollywood about Max Hall? Does he wear flashy clothes and spend tons of money and go out clubbing and have sex with all the hot bitches that are running around on the BYU campus?

NO

He doesn't do ANY of that shit. All "Faggot Max" does is throw a football, and really not all that well I might add. People are talking HEISMAN for "Faggot Max?" Give me a fucking break.

He sucks ass holes like every single day. And that is all on the side of all the dicks that he sucks.

What the fuck are those dumb shit fans thinking trying to call him "Hollywood?" That just goes to show how fucking lame BYU fans are. Those fucking turd eaters wouldn't know Hollywood if it fucked them in the ass.

Here is a little tidbit for the BYU fans out there...

Go fuck yourselves you lame, stupid, faggot-pussies.

Here are a few nicknames for Max Hall that I think would be good for him.

Shit Bird
Fuck Face
Dip Shit
Turd Furguson
Dick Suck MacFucky Face
Maxi Pad
Fat Max
Elder Hall
Max "Pin cushion for dicks" Hall

Those are all I can think of right off the top of my head. I'm sure I'll come up with more later.

BYU Fans Are The Worst People In The World!!!

The University of Utah and BYU have had a long heated rivalry for many years. Ever since 1896 when BYU was called BYA (Brigham Young Academy) the University of Utah and BYU have had a bitter feud.

I've gotta tell you... BYU Sucks. I can always appreciate a good football team. Whether it be based on the talent and execution of the team, or the kind of reputation they have made for themselves.

This is not the case with BYU. Not that I think their players are terrible. In fact, some of their players are actually pretty good. I cannot stand the attitudes that they have. They are all goodie goodie god lovers that honestly believe that God wants them to and helps them win. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

This holier-than-thou attitude makes me sick to my stomach. They think that because they are good church goers and that their school is owned by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, that they are somehow better than the fans of the University of Utah. They portray Ute fans as godless sinners that don't deserve to win because they aren't self-righteous losers like themselves.

Utah is going to win in 2008. And after that happens, BYU fans can cry like little girls about how Utah cheated or how the officiating was unfair, just like they always do. They can then retreat back to their wards and stake centers to pray for vengance the next time the teams meet. Ask god for help in making their self proclaimed "only true church" a little bit more popular.

You suck BYU fans...

You suck.